Can We Call A Dumb-Ass A Dumb-Ass?
In the world of news stories that fly at us at a rapid fire pace, two stick in my mind. The most recent deals with grade school kids singing a revamped song in praise of President Obama. Some parents were concerned that this could be seen as brain washing. This story comes on the heals of parents being concerned about President Obama’s broadcast message to school children. They were worried about it being political in nature.
I know everyone is entitled to their opinion, but folks, these parents baffle me. The tie in between songs and brainwashing. Don’t see it. Makes no sense to me. Dumb-assed.
Having qualms about the president’s message to school children without having prior knowledge of its content, also dumb-assed.
It could be possible that these “concerned” parents are of the ultra conservative persuasion, and just wanted to throw stones into the public discourse.
Anyway, the dumb-assed syndrome is hardly new. Decades ago when the Equal Rights Amendment was being proposed its opponents threw out warning that its passage would result in women being drafted into the military and being expected to engage in front line combat. And worst yet, be mandated to use co-ed bathrooms. At the time there was no indication that any of those measures would result from the passage of the ERA. Yet there were guests on news and talk shows who insisted this would be the case. I can’t recall a host or anchor ever saying the insinuations were stupid and outlandish, and yes, dumb-assed.
Why the silence by the media? Well, it could be because they feel the need to stay impartial during their hosting and anchoring duties. Or better yet, there is so much air time needed to be filled, that if they began offending the stupid and dumb-assed they may be left scrambling for guests and content to put on the air.
Ah, but my fellow Americans, I have a solution to this monumental problem. A dumb-assed alert. We have TV weather warnings. Parental discretion warnings for mature content. We need the same thing when an obvious dumb-assed story is about to be reported. A buzzer could go off, and a flashing superimposed “dumb-assed story” crawl could be positioned at the bottom of the screen. This would ease my, and many other people’s minds.
Mass media. Are you listening?
Showing posts with label political satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label political satire. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
About Power Groupies & Power Guys
The Governor Sanford affair is the latest in the saga of
political sex scandals. In some ways it’s fairly typical. In
others, not so much. I mean he didn’t just trek across town, or
even across country to hook up with his mistress. He went all the
way to South America with no back up story to really explain his
disappearance. Plus once he confessed he couldn’t stop talking
and cataloguing his sins. This at least spared us the spectacle
of the loyal political wife bravely standing by her man.
I have often been skeptical about these public displays of
support. In private I picture the wife pounding the offending
husband up side the head with a frying pan. And having this kind of
response to any request by the husband.
“Get you a beer. You want me to get you a beer. Why don’t you
ask the slutty little bitch to come get you a beer?”
The female groupie personality type is hardly new. Especially
in high profile professions like acting, music, and athletics. In
the case of politicians power is the great allure. For every JFK
or John Edwards there could be an aging, balding, not so hot
looking politician scoring with a hot babe solely because of his
position of power.
For the power guys, it could be several reasons why they become
players in the game. From believing they are entitled because of
the exalted position they hold, or being thrilled at the chance
of hooking up with a woman they considered to be way out of their
league.
In the past, a sex scandal almost always spelled doom for the
elected official. These days it’s an iffy situation. It could
depend on how the story is spun, what the circumstances are, or
believe it or not, how good a job the office holder is doing in
representing his constituency.
Also in the past, the press looked the other way in the case of
Marilyn Monroe and JFK. In today’s world of overblown media
outlets and instant internet coverage, it would seem to be
virtually impossible for a major female entertainment personality
to carry on an affair with the President of the United States.
Thus, we had a chubby intern becoming an instant infamous
celebrity, and a president going through impeachment hearings.
To me, I almost wish some newly elected official would say
something like:
“I must say, I’m a horny type guy. I might succumb to lust in
my heart. I may screw the wrong girl. But I won’t screw you, my
loyal voting public.”
Of course, this will never happen. But as for sex scandals, I
suspect they’ll stay around for awhile. You can count on it. Stay
tuned.
political sex scandals. In some ways it’s fairly typical. In
others, not so much. I mean he didn’t just trek across town, or
even across country to hook up with his mistress. He went all the
way to South America with no back up story to really explain his
disappearance. Plus once he confessed he couldn’t stop talking
and cataloguing his sins. This at least spared us the spectacle
of the loyal political wife bravely standing by her man.
I have often been skeptical about these public displays of
support. In private I picture the wife pounding the offending
husband up side the head with a frying pan. And having this kind of
response to any request by the husband.
“Get you a beer. You want me to get you a beer. Why don’t you
ask the slutty little bitch to come get you a beer?”
The female groupie personality type is hardly new. Especially
in high profile professions like acting, music, and athletics. In
the case of politicians power is the great allure. For every JFK
or John Edwards there could be an aging, balding, not so hot
looking politician scoring with a hot babe solely because of his
position of power.
For the power guys, it could be several reasons why they become
players in the game. From believing they are entitled because of
the exalted position they hold, or being thrilled at the chance
of hooking up with a woman they considered to be way out of their
league.
In the past, a sex scandal almost always spelled doom for the
elected official. These days it’s an iffy situation. It could
depend on how the story is spun, what the circumstances are, or
believe it or not, how good a job the office holder is doing in
representing his constituency.
Also in the past, the press looked the other way in the case of
Marilyn Monroe and JFK. In today’s world of overblown media
outlets and instant internet coverage, it would seem to be
virtually impossible for a major female entertainment personality
to carry on an affair with the President of the United States.
Thus, we had a chubby intern becoming an instant infamous
celebrity, and a president going through impeachment hearings.
To me, I almost wish some newly elected official would say
something like:
“I must say, I’m a horny type guy. I might succumb to lust in
my heart. I may screw the wrong girl. But I won’t screw you, my
loyal voting public.”
Of course, this will never happen. But as for sex scandals, I
suspect they’ll stay around for awhile. You can count on it. Stay
tuned.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
The AIG Bail Out-Bonus Blues
The AIG bonuses after bail out scandal. How could it have happened? How could AIG have the audacity to grant employee bonuses after accepting billions of taxpayer dollars in bail out money? My first thought is, since AIG is a major factor in the bank-housing market collapse, they must have a very low criteria for granting bonuses. Something like if you show up for work fully clothed enough times, you too can collect a bonus.
My second thought is how could they not know there would be a huge backlash if news about the bonuses got out? Are they existing in some type of alternative world? Then it dawned on me. Yes. They are existing in an alternative world. And I know what it is. The world of day time soap operas.
If you’ve ever watched a day time soap you know wealthy business people act with near impunity. They also spend little time working and managing their successful businesses. They usually hang out in their luxurious homes dressed in expensive suits and designer outfits while they spend most of their time meddling in the lives of their spouses, children, and friends. These people of privilege routinely act on the fringes of what’s legal and moral. And if by chance they’re convicted of a major felony, sometimes even murder, they spend a couple months in jail before returning to their lives of constant manipulating and scheming.
Throw in the fact that TV soap operas exist on an accelerated time frame, the couple of months since the government bail out must have seemed like at least a year to the AIG executives, since it usually takes about ten years for a soap opera child to go from an infant to a college student.
So don’t be so mad at AIG. It’s not their fault. They’re just living in a day time soap world. Enough said.
My second thought is how could they not know there would be a huge backlash if news about the bonuses got out? Are they existing in some type of alternative world? Then it dawned on me. Yes. They are existing in an alternative world. And I know what it is. The world of day time soap operas.
If you’ve ever watched a day time soap you know wealthy business people act with near impunity. They also spend little time working and managing their successful businesses. They usually hang out in their luxurious homes dressed in expensive suits and designer outfits while they spend most of their time meddling in the lives of their spouses, children, and friends. These people of privilege routinely act on the fringes of what’s legal and moral. And if by chance they’re convicted of a major felony, sometimes even murder, they spend a couple months in jail before returning to their lives of constant manipulating and scheming.
Throw in the fact that TV soap operas exist on an accelerated time frame, the couple of months since the government bail out must have seemed like at least a year to the AIG executives, since it usually takes about ten years for a soap opera child to go from an infant to a college student.
So don’t be so mad at AIG. It’s not their fault. They’re just living in a day time soap world. Enough said.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
To Be Young, Corrupt, and Stupid
Over the last few weeks we have witnessed the sad saga of deposed Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich; nailed in a federal probe for putting President Obama’s vacate senate seat up for auction like an item on Ebay.
Political corruption in Illinois, especially Chicago, is hardly new. If they don’t average at least one major scandal a year something seems wrong and out of place. Illinois is now two for two in terms of recent governors being slam dunked via corruption probes.
Blagojevich may have reached an all time low in blatant audacity. And an all time high for being stupid enough to talk about it on the phone when he knew he was a target of a corruption probe. This was compounded by him making the rounds on all the national morning news shows to plead his case of innocence before and after he was impeached and booted from office. Why he did this, I’m not sure. It could be he actually believed the PR he was putting down. Or he could be laying the foundation for an insanity defense if his case goes to court. What he really succeeded in doing was to make himself an even bigger target for being lampooned on the late night talk shows, and political satire shows. I’m starting to think whatever he used on his hair to get that goofy hair style must have seeped down through his skull and caused serious brain damage.
I’m trying to think if any politician under investigation for corruption could behave more stupid than Blagojevich.
Picture if you will, Senator Billy Bob Jobobson, of the great state of Somewhere in the South, rushing his rotund figure into a ritzy Washington hotel suite accompanied by April Mayes, a shapely and comely young woman, who is also a undercover government operative.
“I feel great,” April beams. “I feel like dancing.”
She opens her large purse and pulls out a small camcorder.
“Tape me while I’m dancing, baby.”
“Sure darling.”
April hands the camcorder to Billy Bob. He sits on the edge of the bed and aims the camera at his date. April begins to dance about in a flirty manner. She shakes her hips wildly and raises the hem of her dress.
“I like it I like it ” shouts the senator.
April stops dancing. “Wooh. Now you have to dance for me while I film you.”
She moves over and takes the camera from Billy Bob.
“Little darling, you got me so worked up, I’ll have to catch my breath before I can try to do anything.”
“That’s okay. We can talk some. Let me cut the camera off.”
April places the camera on the dresser at an angle where the lense is facing Billy Boy. She pretends to cut it off, but really doesn’t.
“Baby, I’ve been reading in the paper about you being under investigation over taking gifts from lobbyists. Why are they saying all those awful, terrible things about you?”
“I’m a victim of a conspiracy. Calculating evil doers are trying to silence me.”
“That’s terrible. So terrible. Then you didn’t do what they said?”
“Well. I didn’t do anything wrong, little darling. It’s what politics are all about. You have to give something to get something. If a lobbyist gives me a few tickets to major events that doesn’t mean my vote on something would change. And if a lobbyist introduces me to a couple hot babes, before I met you of course, that doesn’t mean I would change my vote on a piece of legislation. And just because a lobbyist might steer me into a great real estate deal doesn’t mean I would vote against my constituents best interests.”
“Wow. You’re so smart. How did you get that way?”
“Oh, I don’t know, darling. It’s just the way I roll.”
Political corruption in Illinois, especially Chicago, is hardly new. If they don’t average at least one major scandal a year something seems wrong and out of place. Illinois is now two for two in terms of recent governors being slam dunked via corruption probes.
Blagojevich may have reached an all time low in blatant audacity. And an all time high for being stupid enough to talk about it on the phone when he knew he was a target of a corruption probe. This was compounded by him making the rounds on all the national morning news shows to plead his case of innocence before and after he was impeached and booted from office. Why he did this, I’m not sure. It could be he actually believed the PR he was putting down. Or he could be laying the foundation for an insanity defense if his case goes to court. What he really succeeded in doing was to make himself an even bigger target for being lampooned on the late night talk shows, and political satire shows. I’m starting to think whatever he used on his hair to get that goofy hair style must have seeped down through his skull and caused serious brain damage.
I’m trying to think if any politician under investigation for corruption could behave more stupid than Blagojevich.
Picture if you will, Senator Billy Bob Jobobson, of the great state of Somewhere in the South, rushing his rotund figure into a ritzy Washington hotel suite accompanied by April Mayes, a shapely and comely young woman, who is also a undercover government operative.
“I feel great,” April beams. “I feel like dancing.”
She opens her large purse and pulls out a small camcorder.
“Tape me while I’m dancing, baby.”
“Sure darling.”
April hands the camcorder to Billy Bob. He sits on the edge of the bed and aims the camera at his date. April begins to dance about in a flirty manner. She shakes her hips wildly and raises the hem of her dress.
“I like it I like it ” shouts the senator.
April stops dancing. “Wooh. Now you have to dance for me while I film you.”
She moves over and takes the camera from Billy Bob.
“Little darling, you got me so worked up, I’ll have to catch my breath before I can try to do anything.”
“That’s okay. We can talk some. Let me cut the camera off.”
April places the camera on the dresser at an angle where the lense is facing Billy Boy. She pretends to cut it off, but really doesn’t.
“Baby, I’ve been reading in the paper about you being under investigation over taking gifts from lobbyists. Why are they saying all those awful, terrible things about you?”
“I’m a victim of a conspiracy. Calculating evil doers are trying to silence me.”
“That’s terrible. So terrible. Then you didn’t do what they said?”
“Well. I didn’t do anything wrong, little darling. It’s what politics are all about. You have to give something to get something. If a lobbyist gives me a few tickets to major events that doesn’t mean my vote on something would change. And if a lobbyist introduces me to a couple hot babes, before I met you of course, that doesn’t mean I would change my vote on a piece of legislation. And just because a lobbyist might steer me into a great real estate deal doesn’t mean I would vote against my constituents best interests.”
“Wow. You’re so smart. How did you get that way?”
“Oh, I don’t know, darling. It’s just the way I roll.”
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