At this point I suppose it’s safe to say that reality TV shows are here to stay, for better or worst, heaven or hell. I’m not a particularly big fan of reality television, although there are shows I do watch. Like all other television shows they exist in varying degrees of quality, and survive varying amounts of time.
However, I’m beginning to notice something uniquely insidious about reality shows. Even if there’s a show you don’t like, and have no interest in whatsoever, you may not be able to escape the people featured in the show unless you completely give up viewing television. I had never heard of the Jon and Kate show until stories of their crumbling marriage surfaced. As far as I can tell the dissolution of their marriage is probably for the good of mankind. What I strongly object to is the constant reports and updates on these annoying people. They pop up on magazine shows, morning shows like Today, and even local news broadcasts.
The Hills is another show I’ve never watched. But I have seen way too much coverage of the stars of the show, especially Heidi and Spencer, apparently the most annoying people in their age group in America, if not the world.
Somebody tell me how this travesty can be put to a stop
Good people, if I do say so myself, I sometimes come up with brilliant ideas. This one is for the ultimate reality show called House on a Steep Hill. I’m positive it will be a guaranteed ratings winner. It will be a one time broadcast live and unedited.
The premise of the show will be to gather together a group of the most annoying and unlikeable reality show participants on a false promise, and fly them by helicopter to a luxury house located on a steep hill.
Once the group has gathered inside the house, Boom , a dynamite charge will, to say the least, put a shock into the group. The blast won’t be strong enough to wipe out all the participants. But think of the thrill of seeing your most hated reality show star bite the dust in a big way.
A broadcast announcement will tell the survivors weather conditions won’t allow a helicopter rescue, but if they journey to the bottom of the hill they will be saved.
Now here comes the next twist. Sprinkled around the slope of the hill will be mean and hungry wild animals; lions and tigers and bears, oh my. The prospect of seeing one or more alleged stars being ripped to shreds, and eaten for lunch by a wild animal has to be just what the doctor ordered for the dedicated reality show fan.
Not to be totally unfair, there will also be weapons placed along the path going down the hill. Everything from primitive spears and bows and arrows to hand guns and Uzis. The trick for the stars will be to acquire the best weapon possible before being attacked by one or more animals.
I’ll tell you folks, the suspense will be amazing. Either all the pesky reality stars will become wild animal appetizers, or some will actually survive, and win our respect, if not admiration. A ratings winner for sure. Call me, networks. Call me.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
About Power Groupies & Power Guys
The Governor Sanford affair is the latest in the saga of
political sex scandals. In some ways it’s fairly typical. In
others, not so much. I mean he didn’t just trek across town, or
even across country to hook up with his mistress. He went all the
way to South America with no back up story to really explain his
disappearance. Plus once he confessed he couldn’t stop talking
and cataloguing his sins. This at least spared us the spectacle
of the loyal political wife bravely standing by her man.
I have often been skeptical about these public displays of
support. In private I picture the wife pounding the offending
husband up side the head with a frying pan. And having this kind of
response to any request by the husband.
“Get you a beer. You want me to get you a beer. Why don’t you
ask the slutty little bitch to come get you a beer?”
The female groupie personality type is hardly new. Especially
in high profile professions like acting, music, and athletics. In
the case of politicians power is the great allure. For every JFK
or John Edwards there could be an aging, balding, not so hot
looking politician scoring with a hot babe solely because of his
position of power.
For the power guys, it could be several reasons why they become
players in the game. From believing they are entitled because of
the exalted position they hold, or being thrilled at the chance
of hooking up with a woman they considered to be way out of their
league.
In the past, a sex scandal almost always spelled doom for the
elected official. These days it’s an iffy situation. It could
depend on how the story is spun, what the circumstances are, or
believe it or not, how good a job the office holder is doing in
representing his constituency.
Also in the past, the press looked the other way in the case of
Marilyn Monroe and JFK. In today’s world of overblown media
outlets and instant internet coverage, it would seem to be
virtually impossible for a major female entertainment personality
to carry on an affair with the President of the United States.
Thus, we had a chubby intern becoming an instant infamous
celebrity, and a president going through impeachment hearings.
To me, I almost wish some newly elected official would say
something like:
“I must say, I’m a horny type guy. I might succumb to lust in
my heart. I may screw the wrong girl. But I won’t screw you, my
loyal voting public.”
Of course, this will never happen. But as for sex scandals, I
suspect they’ll stay around for awhile. You can count on it. Stay
tuned.
political sex scandals. In some ways it’s fairly typical. In
others, not so much. I mean he didn’t just trek across town, or
even across country to hook up with his mistress. He went all the
way to South America with no back up story to really explain his
disappearance. Plus once he confessed he couldn’t stop talking
and cataloguing his sins. This at least spared us the spectacle
of the loyal political wife bravely standing by her man.
I have often been skeptical about these public displays of
support. In private I picture the wife pounding the offending
husband up side the head with a frying pan. And having this kind of
response to any request by the husband.
“Get you a beer. You want me to get you a beer. Why don’t you
ask the slutty little bitch to come get you a beer?”
The female groupie personality type is hardly new. Especially
in high profile professions like acting, music, and athletics. In
the case of politicians power is the great allure. For every JFK
or John Edwards there could be an aging, balding, not so hot
looking politician scoring with a hot babe solely because of his
position of power.
For the power guys, it could be several reasons why they become
players in the game. From believing they are entitled because of
the exalted position they hold, or being thrilled at the chance
of hooking up with a woman they considered to be way out of their
league.
In the past, a sex scandal almost always spelled doom for the
elected official. These days it’s an iffy situation. It could
depend on how the story is spun, what the circumstances are, or
believe it or not, how good a job the office holder is doing in
representing his constituency.
Also in the past, the press looked the other way in the case of
Marilyn Monroe and JFK. In today’s world of overblown media
outlets and instant internet coverage, it would seem to be
virtually impossible for a major female entertainment personality
to carry on an affair with the President of the United States.
Thus, we had a chubby intern becoming an instant infamous
celebrity, and a president going through impeachment hearings.
To me, I almost wish some newly elected official would say
something like:
“I must say, I’m a horny type guy. I might succumb to lust in
my heart. I may screw the wrong girl. But I won’t screw you, my
loyal voting public.”
Of course, this will never happen. But as for sex scandals, I
suspect they’ll stay around for awhile. You can count on it. Stay
tuned.
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