A Plea For a Beach Dress Code

Well folks, it’s close to summer time, and the living may be easy. It’s that time of year, especially in places where they have traditionally cool, or cold winters, when many people will be flocking to the beach.
This is my area of grave concern. Most people feel free to dress in the manner that is comfortable to them. On the surface nothing is wrong with this. But in reality, it can be a harry situation for the eyes to see. This is why I think a beach dress code is badly needed. The code doesn’t have to be formal or enforceable by law, it would just be something people would adhere to naturally.
In a business office setting women are not going to show up in a halter and a micro mini dress. Men don’t come to work wearing a suit coat and no shirt. We need the same kind of responsible behavior when it comes to visiting the beach.
Now I have nothing against plus sized women enjoying the beach. But let’s face it, is any kind of two piece bathing suit a great look for you? I think not.
Full figure men. Do you really need to be shirtless at the beach, especially if you have man boobs so large you can make Pamela Anderson envious? My answer would be no.
I know some places have ordinances against women wearing thong or G-string bottoms. Apparently parents are concerned about their children seeing female butts. But let’s face it, we’re in the age of the internet, cable TV, texting, and Girls Gone Wild. If kids really want to see bare buns, they’ll find someplace to see them. What might be more disturbing to kids is to see a well-boobed man with a pregnant belly. Can you imagine a kid saying:
"Mama, that man has breasts like you. Is he pregnant? I thought only women can have babies."
Full figure types are hardly the only offenders. For all you large boobed women that wear bikini tops a couple sizes too small, don’t be surprised when all male eyes are upon you in anticipation of a major wardrobe malfunction.
I can’t leave out the guys. Especially the roided up, oiled up, hunks with their so-called perfect bodies. Do we need to see you in your too tight speedos showing off your ballet dancer style packages? I don’t think so.
My fellow Americans, we must have a beach dress code! Please think about it.