Michael Phelps is Pimp Daddy P

If you haven’t been on the planet Venus the last few days you probably know about the latest celeb scandal. The picture of Olympic swimming sensation, and designated all American boy, Michael Phelps, bonging away on some weed.
Besides the usual support or condemnation connected with such stories, the most interesting thing that has come out of it is some companies Phelps is a spokesman for have stood by him. In the world of media, no outlets are more wimpy and afraid of controversy than the major TV networks and corporate advertisers. Remember Magic Johnson losing endorsement when he announced he had the HIV virus, and Kobe Bryant losing out when he was accused of rape.
I suppose it helps Phelps that, although illegal, marijuana use has become quasi mainstream. Jay Leno routinely jokes about his band leader Kevin’s love of weed. A part of rapper Snoop Dogg’s persona is him being a notorious smoker of pot.

Here’s my flight of fancy. Suppose it comes out that Michael Phelps has a much darker side. I present you with Michael Phelps, Pimp Daddy P, an inner city pimp.
Picture if you will a long lanky white guy decked out in retro 1970s gear. A white wide-brimmed fur hat that matches his double- breasted white maxi length fur coat. A grey silk shirt, black bell bottomed pants, and a solid gold medallion complete the ensemble.
On the cold mean inner city streets a silver Caddie with a Rolls Royce grill and hood ornament glides down the street, and then parks near a corner.
Trixie, a shapely young woman in a bright red mini dress, white vinyl boots, and a pink trench coat, moves in the direction of the Caddie.
Michael Phelps, aka, Pimp Daddy P, pokes his head out of the window.
“Hey baby. Have you got something for me?”
“Yeah Daddy.”
Trixie reaches into her cleavage and removes a wad of bills. She hands them to Phelps. He makes a quick count.
“Girl, is this all you have for me?”
“Yeah baby. It was rough out there tonight.”
Phelps becomes instantly agitated. “Rough out there. Rough out there So I guess if it’s rough out there I can’t make my car payments. If it’s rough out there I can’t keep you in fine vines. If it’s rough out there I can’t pay my rent. Bitch, get back on the corner and bring me some money, or I’m putting my foot all the way up your you know what ”
Trixie turns and scurries away.
Phelps slams his hand across the steering wheel. “Damn It’s hard out here for a pimp. Even if you’re a Olympic gold medalist.”
The Caddie zips away into the night air like a silver ghost.