To Be Young, Corrupt, and Stupid

Over the last few weeks we have witnessed the sad saga of deposed Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich; nailed in a federal probe for putting President Obama’s vacate senate seat up for auction like an item on Ebay.
Political corruption in Illinois, especially Chicago, is hardly new. If they don’t average at least one major scandal a year something seems wrong and out of place. Illinois is now two for two in terms of recent governors being slam dunked via corruption probes.
Blagojevich may have reached an all time low in blatant audacity. And an all time high for being stupid enough to talk about it on the phone when he knew he was a target of a corruption probe. This was compounded by him making the rounds on all the national morning news shows to plead his case of innocence before and after he was impeached and booted from office. Why he did this, I’m not sure. It could be he actually believed the PR he was putting down. Or he could be laying the foundation for an insanity defense if his case goes to court. What he really succeeded in doing was to make himself an even bigger target for being lampooned on the late night talk shows, and political satire shows. I’m starting to think whatever he used on his hair to get that goofy hair style must have seeped down through his skull and caused serious brain damage.
I’m trying to think if any politician under investigation for corruption could behave more stupid than Blagojevich.

Picture if you will, Senator Billy Bob Jobobson, of the great state of Somewhere in the South, rushing his rotund figure into a ritzy Washington hotel suite accompanied by April Mayes, a shapely and comely young woman, who is also a undercover government operative.
“I feel great,” April beams. “I feel like dancing.”
She opens her large purse and pulls out a small camcorder.
“Tape me while I’m dancing, baby.”
“Sure darling.”
April hands the camcorder to Billy Bob. He sits on the edge of the bed and aims the camera at his date. April begins to dance about in a flirty manner. She shakes her hips wildly and raises the hem of her dress.
“I like it I like it ” shouts the senator.
April stops dancing. “Wooh. Now you have to dance for me while I film you.”
She moves over and takes the camera from Billy Bob.
“Little darling, you got me so worked up, I’ll have to catch my breath before I can try to do anything.”
“That’s okay. We can talk some. Let me cut the camera off.”
April places the camera on the dresser at an angle where the lense is facing Billy Boy. She pretends to cut it off, but really doesn’t.
“Baby, I’ve been reading in the paper about you being under investigation over taking gifts from lobbyists. Why are they saying all those awful, terrible things about you?”
“I’m a victim of a conspiracy. Calculating evil doers are trying to silence me.”
“That’s terrible. So terrible. Then you didn’t do what they said?”
“Well. I didn’t do anything wrong, little darling. It’s what politics are all about. You have to give something to get something. If a lobbyist gives me a few tickets to major events that doesn’t mean my vote on something would change. And if a lobbyist introduces me to a couple hot babes, before I met you of course, that doesn’t mean I would change my vote on a piece of legislation. And just because a lobbyist might steer me into a great real estate deal doesn’t mean I would vote against my constituents best interests.”
“Wow. You’re so smart. How did you get that way?”
“Oh, I don’t know, darling. It’s just the way I roll.”