Am I the only one to notice that since the infamous Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction incident, the half time Super Bowl acts have been all about, well, old white men more likely to have a bowel malfunction that one of the wardrobe variety?
Let’s see, there was Tom Petty, Paul McCarthy, and Bruce Springsteen. I’m getting old myself, I may have missed somebody. I suppose they all met the criteria for half time acts. Long term success, and millions of loyal fans. But then again, so does Janet Jackson, and several other female singers under the age of sixty.
I suppose the NFL can tolerate large sweaty angry men knocking the crap out of each other for three hours white attempting to move an oblong leather ball up and down a hundred yard field. But they draw the line at condoning anything overtly sexual sullying their good family entertainment game. Well, other than hot young women in skimpy outfits cheering their hearts out for their favorite home team. Not to mention their big boobs and shapely butts.
It’s the sexism of the choices that bothers me most. If the acts have to be over sixty, why can’t they be female? Cher is someone that comes to mind. Although in her younger days she had a penchant for wearing outrageous outfits to award shows. I suppose she could be talked into wearing a non-malfunctioning outfit like a zip up leather jacket, leather pants, and boots.
Tina Turner is another act that would fit the bill. She still had great legs, so we shouldn’t ask her to cover them, but she could wear a strait jacket type top to guard against malfunctions.
Tina has such a raspy hard-edged speaking voice I think she could do a good job narrating for NFL Films. Couldn’t you just hear her saying:
“It was a warm 72 degrees inside the noisy domed stadium when the Green Bay Packers met the New England Patriots with the NFL championship hanging in the balance.”
Showing posts with label sports. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sports. Show all posts
Monday, November 30, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
About
The news that Michael Vick would be re-instated into the NFL didn’t come as a shock to me. I always had the feeling he would be allowed to play again if he showed any true signs of genuine remorse. I’m stuck in the middle of the equation because I’m a dog lover and a big NFL fan.
On the other hand, the NFL is the biggest straight out meat market in sports when it comes to acquiring and discarding players. It has to be due to the high attrition rate related to wear and tear and career ending injuries. Consequently, anybody showing any genuine talent will probably be given a chance to line up and give it a go. Michael Vick certainly fits into that category.
In general, the NFL always exits in a paradox. On one hand they are extremely popular, especially on television, and loves to promote itself as an all American sport for the whole family. But in reality, football is a pretty violent, highly mean-spirited game played by hard-nosed men that relish shouting obscenities at each other.
It should be no surprise that such a game would attract young men with highly aggressive hard-nosed personalities, a plus for players that play some positions. A side bar to this is that some players find it hard to turn off their aggressive no holds bared nature outside of the playing field, which has sometimes led to problems with the law.
NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has instituted what you could call a no nonsense policy for players who step out of line and get convicted of high crimes and misdemeanors. He seems to be the sole authority on when or if the offending players will be suspended and for how long. The approach seems credible enough but probably won’t be 100% successful just due to the nature of the game and the type of people it takes to field a competitive team.
This brings me to the Jetsons, a 1960s animated TV show that was the opposite of the Flintstones. It had a futuristic premise that featured all the space age advancements that should have occurred by now, but haven’t exactly come to be. The show featured things like flying cars that folded up into a briefcase, talking robot house keepers, and food machines that deliver a cooked meal in a couple seconds. I’m glad the flying cars haven’t happened .As bad as some people drive I would not want to have to be constantly looking upward in anticipation of two crashed cars landing on my head.
I recall an episode of the Jetsons that included a football game. It wasn’t played by humans, but by robots that were controlled by the team’s coaches. What a boom this would be for the NFL. No dealing with humans and their petty frailties and problems. No injuries, no criminal behavior by players, no annoying flamboyant wide receivers, no agents wanting big contracts for their star players. Just robots or androids you wheel out of a box and send out to play in the games. And if a player should malfunction or break down, you would just haul out an equally skilled replacement and keep playing.
The only people who would probably object would be actual human beings with the skills to play professional football. They could start an alternative old school league but it wouldn’t have the juice of the NFL behind them.
But on the other hand, how long would it be before some overzealous owner got nailed for illegal programming or assembling the team’s robots, resulting in scandalous headlines.
Oh well. Never mind.
On the other hand, the NFL is the biggest straight out meat market in sports when it comes to acquiring and discarding players. It has to be due to the high attrition rate related to wear and tear and career ending injuries. Consequently, anybody showing any genuine talent will probably be given a chance to line up and give it a go. Michael Vick certainly fits into that category.
In general, the NFL always exits in a paradox. On one hand they are extremely popular, especially on television, and loves to promote itself as an all American sport for the whole family. But in reality, football is a pretty violent, highly mean-spirited game played by hard-nosed men that relish shouting obscenities at each other.
It should be no surprise that such a game would attract young men with highly aggressive hard-nosed personalities, a plus for players that play some positions. A side bar to this is that some players find it hard to turn off their aggressive no holds bared nature outside of the playing field, which has sometimes led to problems with the law.
NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has instituted what you could call a no nonsense policy for players who step out of line and get convicted of high crimes and misdemeanors. He seems to be the sole authority on when or if the offending players will be suspended and for how long. The approach seems credible enough but probably won’t be 100% successful just due to the nature of the game and the type of people it takes to field a competitive team.
This brings me to the Jetsons, a 1960s animated TV show that was the opposite of the Flintstones. It had a futuristic premise that featured all the space age advancements that should have occurred by now, but haven’t exactly come to be. The show featured things like flying cars that folded up into a briefcase, talking robot house keepers, and food machines that deliver a cooked meal in a couple seconds. I’m glad the flying cars haven’t happened .As bad as some people drive I would not want to have to be constantly looking upward in anticipation of two crashed cars landing on my head.
I recall an episode of the Jetsons that included a football game. It wasn’t played by humans, but by robots that were controlled by the team’s coaches. What a boom this would be for the NFL. No dealing with humans and their petty frailties and problems. No injuries, no criminal behavior by players, no annoying flamboyant wide receivers, no agents wanting big contracts for their star players. Just robots or androids you wheel out of a box and send out to play in the games. And if a player should malfunction or break down, you would just haul out an equally skilled replacement and keep playing.
The only people who would probably object would be actual human beings with the skills to play professional football. They could start an alternative old school league but it wouldn’t have the juice of the NFL behind them.
But on the other hand, how long would it be before some overzealous owner got nailed for illegal programming or assembling the team’s robots, resulting in scandalous headlines.
Oh well. Never mind.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Baseball Been Very Very Roid to Me
Well, it’s spring time and sports fans are turning their attention to the beginning of the baseball season. Back in the day fans worried about their favorite team’s chances to win the division, make the world series, or at least improve on the previous season. Now fans wonder what high profile superstar will become embroiled in a steroid scandal. Last year it was Roger Clemens, who like Barry Bonds, had remarkable seasons for a player late in his career.
This year it’s A-rod, who is not exactly at the end of his career, more like in his prime years. But considering all the recent tabloid stories about Madonna, strippers, madams, and hookers, he may have needed the steroids just to keep his energy level up.
There are probably only two ways to possibly handle the steroid situation in baseball and remove the stain of scandal. One way would be to come up with an all purpose test that could detect all performance enhancing drugs.
The second solution would be to make steroids and the rest perfectly legal, despite the potential long term health-related consequences.
Of course, if steroids were legal it would be okay for announcers to incorporate roid banter into the broadcast.
Picture this radio broadcast exchange.
"There’s one out, and here comes Billy Breakfast to the plate. He steps in batting at .215. Here’s the first pitch. High for a ball."
"You know, Billy is a prime example of a guy the roids have kept in the majors," the color man said. "He has twenty home runs, and 50 RBIs, but he’s only hitting .215."
"The next pitch is swung on and missed. The catcher must’ve been crossed up on that pitch. He’s going out to talk to his pitcher. Getting back to Billy and the steroids, in half a season he’s struck out 115 times. But boy, when he connects with the ball it really flies."
"Not to mention, he has a huge head. He looks like an alien from a Star Trek movie."
"We’re ready to go again. Here’s the pitch. Billy swings and hits a sky high pop up. That baby is way up there. The third baseman has a bead on it. Oh, the wind’s got it. The catcher and first baseman go after it. The ball drops between them. Breakfast is on second with a wind blown double."
"Now that was really a wind blown steroid hit."
This year it’s A-rod, who is not exactly at the end of his career, more like in his prime years. But considering all the recent tabloid stories about Madonna, strippers, madams, and hookers, he may have needed the steroids just to keep his energy level up.
There are probably only two ways to possibly handle the steroid situation in baseball and remove the stain of scandal. One way would be to come up with an all purpose test that could detect all performance enhancing drugs.
The second solution would be to make steroids and the rest perfectly legal, despite the potential long term health-related consequences.
Of course, if steroids were legal it would be okay for announcers to incorporate roid banter into the broadcast.
Picture this radio broadcast exchange.
"There’s one out, and here comes Billy Breakfast to the plate. He steps in batting at .215. Here’s the first pitch. High for a ball."
"You know, Billy is a prime example of a guy the roids have kept in the majors," the color man said. "He has twenty home runs, and 50 RBIs, but he’s only hitting .215."
"The next pitch is swung on and missed. The catcher must’ve been crossed up on that pitch. He’s going out to talk to his pitcher. Getting back to Billy and the steroids, in half a season he’s struck out 115 times. But boy, when he connects with the ball it really flies."
"Not to mention, he has a huge head. He looks like an alien from a Star Trek movie."
"We’re ready to go again. Here’s the pitch. Billy swings and hits a sky high pop up. That baby is way up there. The third baseman has a bead on it. Oh, the wind’s got it. The catcher and first baseman go after it. The ball drops between them. Breakfast is on second with a wind blown double."
"Now that was really a wind blown steroid hit."
Monday, March 16, 2009
Who Do You Like in the NCAA Tournament?
Who do you like in the NCAA tournament? Those words will be spoken zillions of times in the next two weeks. Office pools and all sorts of sponsored or in formal contests will be taking place all over the country. In today’s college basketball in which parity rules, it’s virtually impossible to correctly fill out all the brackets, although last year there was the rare occurrence when all four number one seeds made it to the final four.
I suppose it can be said that the NCAA’s men’s basketball tournament is second only to the NFL play-offs, cumulating in the unofficial holiday status of the Super Bowl when it comes to capturing the country’s imagination, which consistently translates into big network television ratings.
Looking back forty years, except in regional pockets, college basketball trailed college football in popularity by a large margin.
A turning point was the broadcast of a game between the semi-invincible Lew Alcinder led UCLA team and a Houston team led by Elvin Hayes. In a very well played game, Hayes went on a scoring tear that resulted in a rare loss for UCLA.
That game was broadcast late out of prime time. Eight years later when a Bobby Knight coached Indiana squad became the last team to go undefeated through an entire season, the championship game was broadcast on a Saturday afternoon as a pick up from a non-major network distributor called TVS.
Another big turning point was the 1979 showdown in the championship game between Michigan State and the new to the big time Indiana State. Michigan State was led by Ervin “Magic” Johnson, the uniquely talented six foot nine point guard that had a ‘smiling assassin’ demeanor. Cinderella Indiana State was led by Larry Bird, a sharp shooting country boy who became a hero to many white kids who had serious hoop dreams.
The fact that Johnson’s Spartans won the game wasn’t as important as it was the beginning of many legendary battles that rekindled interest in the NBA. Other players like Michael Jordan and Pat Ewing became long time NBA superstars after winning NCAA titles.
Of course, college basketball has always been a defacto minor league and feeder system for the NBA. The growth of the NCAA tournament the last thirty years makes the system seem all the more perverse. The TV networks pay billions of dollars for the rights to broadcast the games and charge billions of dollars to advertisers. The top coaches can command multi-million dollar contracts. They even get basketball shoe deals. But who gets left out of the big money bonanza? Just the players the fans come out, or tune in to see.
In my fantasy world, big time division one football and basketball would be a separate entity away from the rest of the NCAA. The new class could be what it really is, a big time big money minor league systems for the NBA and NFL. The teams could maintain their conference and school affiliations. There would just be a salary structure involved along with the scholarship.
The chances of this happening any time soon are nil unless some type of major movement presses a change.
So who do you like in the NCAA tournament? Give me your choices and the reasons why if you wish.
I suppose it can be said that the NCAA’s men’s basketball tournament is second only to the NFL play-offs, cumulating in the unofficial holiday status of the Super Bowl when it comes to capturing the country’s imagination, which consistently translates into big network television ratings.
Looking back forty years, except in regional pockets, college basketball trailed college football in popularity by a large margin.
A turning point was the broadcast of a game between the semi-invincible Lew Alcinder led UCLA team and a Houston team led by Elvin Hayes. In a very well played game, Hayes went on a scoring tear that resulted in a rare loss for UCLA.
That game was broadcast late out of prime time. Eight years later when a Bobby Knight coached Indiana squad became the last team to go undefeated through an entire season, the championship game was broadcast on a Saturday afternoon as a pick up from a non-major network distributor called TVS.
Another big turning point was the 1979 showdown in the championship game between Michigan State and the new to the big time Indiana State. Michigan State was led by Ervin “Magic” Johnson, the uniquely talented six foot nine point guard that had a ‘smiling assassin’ demeanor. Cinderella Indiana State was led by Larry Bird, a sharp shooting country boy who became a hero to many white kids who had serious hoop dreams.
The fact that Johnson’s Spartans won the game wasn’t as important as it was the beginning of many legendary battles that rekindled interest in the NBA. Other players like Michael Jordan and Pat Ewing became long time NBA superstars after winning NCAA titles.
Of course, college basketball has always been a defacto minor league and feeder system for the NBA. The growth of the NCAA tournament the last thirty years makes the system seem all the more perverse. The TV networks pay billions of dollars for the rights to broadcast the games and charge billions of dollars to advertisers. The top coaches can command multi-million dollar contracts. They even get basketball shoe deals. But who gets left out of the big money bonanza? Just the players the fans come out, or tune in to see.
In my fantasy world, big time division one football and basketball would be a separate entity away from the rest of the NCAA. The new class could be what it really is, a big time big money minor league systems for the NBA and NFL. The teams could maintain their conference and school affiliations. There would just be a salary structure involved along with the scholarship.
The chances of this happening any time soon are nil unless some type of major movement presses a change.
So who do you like in the NCAA tournament? Give me your choices and the reasons why if you wish.
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